


Nobody Told Me You'd Be Here

by CastInShadows



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, The others only make brief appearances, slightly angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:12:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastInShadows/pseuds/CastInShadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Laf and Perry's engagement party... and also the first time in years that anyone has seen Laura... and it was a complete surprise to them all.  Nobody expected her to just show up, and she never expected Carmilla to be there when she did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody Told Me You'd Be Here

**Author's Note:**

> I was really, really hesitant to post this. I'm not quite sure how much I actually like it, but here it is anyways. It's a bit of a downer... which is totally weird for me since I generally avoid anything that doesn't end up with them happy and together, or at least the clear probability of it. There's none of that here if you want to back out now.
> 
> Standard non-ownership disclaimer: The characters belong to J. Sheridan Le Fanu, Jordan Hall, and Ellen Simpson. No infringement intended. Pretty much anything recognizable isn't mine.

This could not be happening right now. 

“What the-?” Laf yelps as they're pulled swiftly into a coat closet.  Straightening up, they realize that their attacker is none other than Carmilla.  “Hey... so after all these years you've decided to become an abductor after all?”

Carmilla ignores the quip, already pacing back and forth in front of them.  “Why didn't you tell me she'd be here?”

Laf sighs.  They knew this was coming the moment Laura had walked into the banquet room twenty minutes ago.  “I didn't think she would be.  If I had known, I would've definitely warned you.”

“How did she even know about this?”

“Well...” Laf rubs their neck sheepishly, “Perry sent her an invite.  She says it's only right because no matter what, she's family.”

“Speaking of family... it's suddenly a blessing Mattie couldn't make it.”

“Definitely,” they let out a laugh, “Perry doesn't deserve to have to clean up bloodshed during her own engagement party.”

Carmilla sighs, leaning against the wall and looking towards the ground.  She sounds more vulnerable than she has in years when she asks softly, “You really didn't know she was coming?”

Laf puts their hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to look up and meet their eyes.  “Honest,” they say in their most serious tone, trying their hardest to convey their sincerity.  They really hadn't known that Laura would just show up.  “We've always invited her to everything, and she's never come.  We just assumed when she didn't send back a reply it was more of the same, but she said that she wanted to surprise us because it's been so long.  We would have never let you walk into this situation blindly if we'd even suspected it could be a possibility.  You have to believe me.”

Still looking Laf right in the eyes, Carmilla just nods once, and says, “Come on, I need a drink,” before exiting the closet.

 

* * *

 

Laura watches from across the room as Carmilla steps back in with Laf in tow.  She sees Perry rush up to the pair and practically launch herself at Carmilla.  She watches curiously as Carmilla doesn't flinch away from the hug.  She really didn't expect this.  Never in a million years would she have thought that Carmilla would be here.  It didn't even occur to her to ask.  Then again, thoughts of her vampire ex-girlfriend were firmly sealed away in the portion of her mind where she never ventured.  The subject was also firmly in “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” territory whenever she spoke to Laf and Perry.  They were really the only two she ever had any kind of contact with anymore, and even that was sparse.  It had taken months for Laf to even start speaking to her again after she left.  Perry was a bit more understanding, but she could still feel that things had changed.  Why did she think this was a good idea again?

“-and then Jeep totally cheated because he knows that me and D-Bear can't fly, but Mattie was the ref and she allowed it.  She said he was _such a clever uccellino,_ and maybe we should've thought to use our other powers too.  It was so not cool though, you know?”

Right... she was supposed to be listening to Kirsch tell her all about some insane sort of capture the flag game that they had all come up with.  She didn't think she'd ever get used to the fact that he and Danny were vampires now.  Or that Mattie was apparently around and willing to oversee some of their little competitions.

“Will Mattie be here tonight?” Laura asked a little nervously.

Kirsch didn't pick up on it though.  “Nah... she's doing some business, or something, and couldn't get away.  She said she'd definitely make it back by the New Moon when the Board meets.  That's in like six days, I think?”

Laura was relieved.  She was sure to be long gone by then.  She can only imagine what Mattie's reaction would be to seeing her here after all this time.  Especially with the way she left things.  She'd be a red mist before she could even register what was happening.  She hadn't thought that it was something she should be worried about when she had made the last-minute decision to come.  Then again, she also didn't think that Carmilla would be either, but there she was.

She scanned the room again.  Carmilla was now sat alone at the bar, she didn't see where Laf had disappeared to, and Perry was walking in her direction with Danny.  They came to a stop in front of her and Kirsch.

“Kirsch, sweetie,” Perry asks, “could you please come help me for a moment?”

“Sure thing,” he says with a smile, “Hey Laur, when I come back I'll tell you about the time D-Bear and Carm-sexy were racing, and ended up getting attacked by one of Laf's class experiments.”

He bound off, with Perry following closely behind, leaving Laura alone with a grumbling Danny.  She was muttering under her breath, “Stupid mutt, I totally would've won if Carmilla hadn't cheated, and you would think that after the mushrooms thing that Laf would think twice about experimenting with sentient plants, but-.”  Suddenly realizing that Laura was standing there watching her talk to herself, she shook herself off and asked, “So... how've you been Hollis? Long time no see.”

 

* * *

 

Carmilla had been hyper-aware of Laura from the moment she had entered the room earlier in the evening.  Even though she hadn't really looked at her, and was now sitting with her back to the room at large, she knew exactly where Laura was located.  She would think after all these years that would've faded.  No such luck.  She was relieved that the puppy had been able to keep her occupied for as long as he had.  She just hoped that Danny would be able to do the same.  Meanwhile, the blood-whiskey wasn't really doing it for her.  It was one of Laf's better concoctions, but she needed to get some air.  Well, maybe not completely outside.  She should stick nearby just in case.  You never knew with this group.  Still, she definitely needed space.

When she finally stood and turned, she was beyond grateful that Laura was positioned with her back to the bar.  She took the free moment to just soak in the other girl's appearance.  Aside from her hair being a little longer, not much had changed.  And judging from her flailing hands, she must have been telling Danny one hell of a story.  Feeling herself get slightly lost, she shook herself from her Laura induced stupor.  Just like old times.  God, she was weak.  She really needed to get out of there.  Letting her eyes drift a little higher, she caught Danny's gaze.  She kind of liked the ginger giant, not that she would ever tell her that.  She knew the feeling was mutual, but they had an understanding.  She motioned towards the door, Danny gave an almost imperceptible nod in return, and she was out.

The corridor was thankfully empty, so Carmilla slumped down the wall.  If she could just stay as far away from Laura as possible, then maybe she'd successfully fend off the onslaught of memories that were threatening to surface.  She'd just sit out here on her own, unless someone needed her, until it was time to wrap-up this little soiree.  Perry would understand.

Not five minutes after she had thought that she found solace in solitude, the door to her left swung open.  Without even looking up, Carmilla knew it was exactly the very last person she wanted to get caught by.  Of course Xena wouldn't be able to keep Laura's attention, Carmilla thought, she never could.  She internally flinched. Okay... that was a little harsh.  She knew it wasn't Danny's fault (not that that would stop her from laying a guilt trip on her later).  Maybe if she didn't acknowledge Laura's presence, she'd get the hint and just go back inside.

“Hey,” Laura said kind of hesitantly.

Or, maybe not.  “Hey,” Carmilla responded.  Great, she rolled her eyes, she was already slipping into old patterns.  She needed to be stronger.

Not really knowing what to say now that she was actually face-to-face with her vampire ex-girlfriend, Laura went with, “I didn't think you'd be here.”

“Wouldn't I be?” Carmilla drawls.

“Well... I honestly figured you'd have moved on by now,” Laura confesses.

Carmilla is genuinely perplexed.  “Moved on?”

“Yeah well, there's nothing really holding you here now... and you were never really that close to Laf and Perry, and the rest of them...” she trails off.

Okay... she's a little offended now.  “You have no idea how I feel about Ginger Squared, and the cubs.”

“I'm sorry, I just thought-”

“Well you're wrong,” Carmilla snapped.

Silence settled between the two, neither quite sure where to go from here.  Then, reminiscent of a moment from what felt like lifetimes ago, Carmilla bites the bullet and is the first to speak.  In a wavering voice she asks, “Do you miss me?”

Laura sighs and turns away. “I don't have the right to miss you.”

Again confusion.  “What does that mean?”

Twirling around, looking incredulous, Laura sputters, “What does tha- Seriously, Carm?”

Carmilla just stands there, so Laura continues, “After everything that happened?  I- I left you... in the worst possible way imaginable.  You know, after everything settled down from the immediate effect of my departure... like way, way settled down... Perry told me what happened the day I left.  That you went absolutely crazy.  That when you couldn't find me, your mind immediately jumped to me being kidnapped, and you were already on the phone with Danny of all people, to round up the cavalry when Laf rushed in with the note I had left them.  She said that once you realized what happened, you just shut down.  You went to the room, and did nothing but lie in bed for so long.  That on the ninth day they finally had to have JP hold you down so they could force-feed you so you wouldn't seize.”

The memories that Carmilla had been trying to hold at bay flooded her all at once.  Yes... she was broken when Laura left her.  She thought that it was finally going to be their time.  Her mother was truly vanquished for good this time, and they had all survived.  She thought that she was finally going to live the life she wanted, with the woman she loved by her side.  Then the rug was pulled out from under her.  But that was irrelevant now.  Laura was here, and Carmilla had never stopped loving her.  Maybe this was their chance now. 

Laura is still talking, “The worse part of it all, is that by the time she was telling me all this, I had already realized what a terrible mistake I had made.  But it was too late.  I couldn't go back after doing that to you.  I could never ask for your forgiveness for that on top of everything else I'd already needed it for.  So I stayed away... from everyone.  I locked all the memories of you in a vault inside my mind, and tried to just move on.  It was too painful to think of what I had lost... of what I had thrown away.  I still feel that hole in my heart, but after everything I just don't even have the right-” her breath hitched in her throat and cut her off.  Tears were streaming down her face.

“Laura,” Carmilla said taking a step forward.  She reached up, taking Laura's face in her hands.  Pressing their foreheads together she murmured, “Don't you know that I'd forgive you anything? That I've forgiven you everything?”

“I just don't deserve it, Carm,” Laura sniffled.

“Cupcake... none of that matters.  Don't you know?" she pauses for a moment, "I have been in lo-"

She's cut off by the sound of Laura's phone ringing in her pocket.  With a sigh, Carmilla takes a step back from Laura and leans back against the wall with her arms crossed, looking down at the toes of her boots.  Always with the interruptions.  Some things never change.

Laura's struggling to pull her phone out and muttering under her breath.  Finally she gets it free.  After seeing who's calling, she closes her eyes for a moment, and steels herself for what she's about to do.  With a deep breath, she's looking right at Carmilla when she answers in a forced cheery voice, “Hi, Babe.”

Carmilla's eyes shoot up to meet Laura's, who is still talking, “No... I didn't eat the last of the marshmallows.  There should be another bag in the cupboard.  Whatever... one cup of cocoa without them won't kill you...”

Laura never breaks their gaze, and realization washes over Carmilla.  Perfect.  She's not sure if she wants to laugh, or cry, or possibly go drown herself in Laf's entire stash of blood whiskey.  She shakes her head and walks back into the main room, allowing Laura the privacy to finish her conversation.

Finding Laf at the bar, she sits down next to them and motions to the bartender for a drink.  “Did you know?” she asks.

“That Laura has a girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” she says, downing her drink, and motioning for another.

“I just found out.  Danny told me she mentioned that her girlfriend had asked to come, but she wasn't sure if she could bring her since the invitation didn't have a plus one.”

Carmilla's grip tightened on the glass she was holding.  How she loathed to quote that insipid little dolt, even in her mind, but she really was Fortune's fool.

Laf continued, “According to Danny it doesn't really seem that serious.  And the “lack of plus one” thing just seemed like an excuse she gave not to bring her.  She says tha-”

“I really don't want to talk about this,” Carmilla interrupted them.

Laf immediately shut their mouth.  They sat there drinking in silence until Kirsch bounded up to them, with Perry by his side.  “Come on, let's take a picture since the whole gang is here.”

“Not happening, Beefcake,” Carmilla objects immediately.

“Aww... come on,” Kirsch whines, “it's the first time everybody's been together in over four years.”

Carmilla's still scowling at him when Perry pipes up, “Who knows when's that'll happen again? It'd be nice memento to have.”

With a roll of her eyes she gives in, “Fine.”

“Yes!” Kirsch whoops.  “D-Bear! Jeep! Let's go. Group pic,” he yells across the room as he practically skips away.

Laura slips back into the room while everyone is still preparing themselves.  Perry is smoothing down JP's hair, while Laf is trying to hide her mirth at the pathetic face he's making, Danny and Kirsch are arguing over how the picture is going to be taken, and Carmilla is just watching it all with a disinterested look on her face.

“What's going on?” Laura asks.  She tries to catch Carmilla's eye, but she's refusing to even look in her direction.

Danny is the one who answers, “We're taking a picture with all the original gang. Get over here.”

Laura makes a move to go stand by Carmilla, but Kirsch intercepts her.  He's not as dumb as they all think he is.  He's pretty sure that Carmilla really does not need Laura so close to her right now.  She's his bro-... well, sis (he's working on that) now, and while he still likes and misses Laura, protecting his family comes first.  He scoops up Laura, and she lets out a laugh as spins her around a bit.

“Come on Little L, you gotta be in front,” he says, setting her down next to Laf, “it's what you get for being so tiny.”

She tried once again to catch Carmilla's eye, but was unsuccessful.  She really had no choice but to just settle where Kirsch had placed her.  So there Laura was.  Positioned somewhat in the front between Laf and JP, while Carmilla was on the outer edge standing next to, again, Danny of all people.  She still couldn't quite grasp that after all this time that things may have changed enough that they're actually friends.  That was just it, though.  Things had changed.  Of course she didn't actually think that she would come back after four years to find that everyone and everything had stayed exactly how they were, but if she were being honest with herself, she had kind of hoped.  She didn't think it would be anything like this.  Everyone had moved on, had grown up, without her.  Her heart broke with the realization that this was probably the last time they would all be together like this. This no longer felt like home, and she was no longer a part of this family, and she had done it to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually have a ridiculous amount of headcanon for this little 'verse. Not that any of it will ever be added... but just know that it exists lol. This was just a little snippet that I decided to write down while I was super procrastinating on other things that I really should've been doing. It was initially inspired by “When We Were Young” by Adele, but didn't go anywhere I thought it would when I first started thinking about it, so there's that. 
> 
> Oh... and uccellino is little bird (or birdie, but I like "little bird" better) in Italian. In this little 'verse JP's shift is a hawk owl, Danny is really a bear, and Kirsch is totally a big, dopey puppy, like a great dane or something. 
> 
> No beta, so if there's any glaringly obvious mistakes, point them out and I'll be happy to fix them. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
